I lay on the bed with a short silk robe draped strategically over me to cover certain parts but open in the center to show off my big beautiful belly. I was going for modest and tasteful. After a few minutes of my self-arranged photo session, Adam comes into the room after he said he saw flashes and heard clicks from the other room. Walking in, he sees me laying there with the digital camera on timer, snapping away. Startled, I jump up and my robe falls to the side exposing my big breasts with my big nipples. The camera keeps clicking a series of photos.
Sadly, this shoot took place before I had ever purchased a digital camera where you could see the photos instantly. So I had the fun task of dropping off the film to be developed at a local drugstore. Or rather, a drugstore two towns away in the event I was embarrassed by the pictures after seeing them produced.
I got the pictures back and tore into them before I left the parking lot. My first thought was understanding why photographers take a long time to set up lighting. I was as white as an egg and as round as an orb. For a few pictures I tried to be sultry and sexy and yet, I actually looked cross-eyed or stoned - with child. And well the pictures that were taken when I was telling Adam to leave me alone and to not make fun of me, were horrendous. My head looked huge, emphasized by my large open mouth and my wide brown eyes, the darkness of my eyes only slightly competing with my big brown nipples (thank you pregnancy).
After looking through the lot, I found just one that could work for the baby book. I strategically cropped the photo which was basically just my belly, turned it black-and-white and pasted the memory onto the book page. It wasn't as magical as I wanted to be but it wasn't as offensive as the rest of the roll.
Months after the pictures of my belly were developed, and my little babe was born, we were in the process of moving to accommodate our growing family. Ella was about two-years-old and even though I was still carrying around "baby weight", my body was more in the shape that I was familiar with. So when we were packing and I came across the pregnancy photos, I reflected on the moment - amazed at how big I was and how much things have changed. I decided to put the pix into a large plastic bin that was holding other sentimental snapshots.
On moving day, we had asked a few friends to come over and help us put some of the heavier items up into our new pull-down attic. Among many boxes slated to be stored, there was our sentimental photo box. Although it was quite heavy, one friend had jimmied the box into a position to send it up the ladder to a friend sitting at the top of the attic stairs.
I was standing in the hallway trying to be helpful - but maybe being more in the way - when our friend started to slide the box with the photos up into the attic.
And just as the bin was about to reach the guy at the top of the stairs, the lid of the bucket slid off and tons of photos came raining down on everyone. Well, I am sure you know where this is going… The maternity photos I took years before we’re scattered about his feet. Of course, this would be the time where most of the pictures landed face up, just so that everyone could see me and my big head looking right at them - and all else! Tits, belly, and bush out on display. I moved quicker than I have in years in an attempt to scoop up the photos.
Looking back on this now, I think both friends may have been scarred for life after seeing the horrid images of a very pregnant person, looking anything but lovely. They both had seemingly done everything to avoid starting a family and the one friend had even joined the clergy. Good Lord – I hope he has some holy water for his eyes – because he can never un-see what has been seen.