Yay! It’s Back-to-School time! And the first and probably last day that my kids will actually make the bus. From here on out, I will likely be the parent screeching through the parking lot at 60 miles an hour in order to get there before the bell rings. The scene will be awesome as I scream at the kids to unbuckle their seatbelts and get ready to get out of the car the second it stops. As they run to the doors, I will yell after them reminding them to go directly to the office without getting a late pass and to just tell the teachers that they were using the bathroom when the bell rang. I will get pissed when I see them walking towards the office. Argh! Why did I teach them to do the right thing? With the start of a new school year, I wonder if I will have to go back to bribing them to make the bus on time. Last year, it was only February when we got a letter from the principal about all of the accrued lates. We really had to start making real efforts to get the girls to school on time until the end of the year. And in keeping consistent with making some of the worst parenting decisions ever, I promised each of them $100 in cold, hard cash if they didn’t get one more late pass until June. And it worked! On the last day of school, I found myself at the bank asking the teller for 200 singles. Feeling like a stripper with a bunch of loose bills in my purse – and secretly liking it – I picked up the girls from school that day and handed them their reward. Yea, seeing it’s success I am so not above bribery. Since my girls weren't either, I should have anticipated that being at the bus stop today – the first day – it would present the perfect opportunity for my oldest to ask “So Mom, how much do we get this year for not getting any late passes?” Like finding out that the Tooth Fairy pays some kids more than others, let’s hope my girls don’t talk to your kids or we just might ourselves breaking up a juvenile ring of corruption.
Collection of comic strips that illustrate the madness of my life - career, marriage, motherhood...me!
Click on any of the categories above or the "previous" link at the end of the page to see some moments that have stripped me of my sanity.