If you know me, you know I am pretty open about anything and everything - whether it is right or wrong, I am the same way with my kids. And sometimes I turn it up a little just to be funny for them.
Case in point….the other day, I was taking a shower and since like most moms, the bathroom is no longer a private place, my kids were standing outside the shower doors, knocking on them and trying to talk to me like I wasn’t trying to have a personal moment. The water made it hard to hear them and the hot steam, made it even harder. As their voices were muffled under the constant cleansing stream, all I could think was “Fucking – go away….let me be”.
But they didn’t – they wouldn’t. It was if they waited for me to go in the shower, to determine that this was the optimal time to engage in conversation. So as I was shaving all my parts, I thought it would make them laugh and get grossed out enough to go away if I told them something silly.
My youngest was mid-sentence about an annoying thing her sister did to her when I said "Vanessa, please, stop talking, I am trying to shave my asshole and I cant do this with you going on and on.”
She cracked up. So did I. Because isn't it ridiculous that I would say that to a child? (I’d say it was ridiculous to say I was shaving my ass, but hey, I am Italian and firmly believe that all women should groom generously).
And wouldn’t it be just my ridiculous luck that the next day, Vanessa told her class that her mom “shaves her butt”. I am not even sure I can put into words the feeling I had when she told me she said this and that she got in trouble for it. Ok – I was glad she didn’t use the curse word, per se but OMG – this was wrong on so many levels – I honestly didn’t even know how to do damage control. So I let it go. I never brought it up again. It was too embarrassing - which again, says a lot for me. I really don’t get easily embarrassed.
Luckily, in having a good kid (for the most part), the teacher didn’t seem to really want to bring up something uncomfortable for either of us – so it became something never addressed, never to speak about again. It was a definitive end to the subject of my end.