Last week, Vanessa asked if she could bring a friend to dinner. I went back and forth in deciding because I wanted my kid to have fun but, like a modern Mom, I also wanted a couple of glasses of wine and did not want to drive someone else's child home from the bar. Er, Um, restaurant.
((OK let's pause for one second. Is it weird that I didn't say that I consider this weekly when our little family goes to this place and I might drive with MY child? I have some messed up standards.))
So Vanessa's 9-year-old friend joined us. And I nursed one glass of wine with plans to snuggle up on the couch later that night with several others. Adam on the other hand was drinking like a pirate and was about four beers in when he started to become annoying.
When he said something particularly off-color, the words just slipped out of my mouth and I yelled at him - "You are a douche."
And as Vanessa and her friend exchanged crayons to color their kid's menu placemats, she looked at me and said without expression "Mom! That is a bad word."
For which I quickly replied after tsking, "Babe, I don't think your friend knows that is a curse word." And I believed that. I believed that other parents didn't say shit like this in front of their kids. So I tried to recover and jokingly said "so, just be cool, ok."
And without ever looking up from her iPhone, my older one snarked "Mom, you are never cool."
Fair enough. So very fair. Aren't douches outdated anyway?