After a recent dental procedure with Novocain, I stopped at Dunkin' Donuts on the way back from my appointment thinking that enough time had passed and I was in the safe zone to drink or eat without total face numbness. As I approached the counter to place my order, a cute cop who was waiting to get his coffee looked at me and smiled. I took my iced coffee from the DD lady and smiled back at the man in uniform. For whatever reason, I then brought the straw to my lips and was trying to pull off this suggestive, doe-eyed thing as I continued to look his way and smile while playing with the straw in my mouth to seal the flirty look. Ok, well….I think I was smiling and playing up sexy facial expressions – more likely, the left side of my face wasn’t moving considering the Novocain seemingly hadn’t yet worn off. However, he did positively respond to my come-hither-ness and kept looking at me while smiling in my direction….or maybe he felt bad for me thinking I was a recent stroke victim. I don’t know…but I was feeling pretty good until an instinct kicked in to actually drink something through the straw. No longer was the plastic orange drink tube a prop in my ridiculous MILF effort, but it was now serving a practical, everyday purpose that was impossible for my non-working mouth. As I sipped from the straw that I was using as a phallic prop, I seriously dribbled all down my chin, neck and all over my shirt. This was not sexy at all. Bless his heart, he tried to suppress laughter as I moved fast to get some napkins. I walked out of the place with a red face and a huge wet spot on my chest. He walked out with a story to share with his buddies back at the station. Ironic that I was the stereotypical suburban mom, a little hard-up for male attention and he was the stereo-typical cop carrying out the donuts. Guess we were both a clichéd fail.
