I hear moms talking all the time about how they fell asleep and forgot to be the Tooth Fairy. I always thought that was awful - until it happened to me. Well, almost. It was a Friday night and my little family had gone out for dinner, which naturally also including drinking. Vanessa's tooth had fallen out at school earlier that day and because I know myself and how I love to really rock a Friday night, even a casual family dinner, I had put Vanessa's tooth in the little blue, satin Tooth Fairy pouch and put it next to my sink just before heading out the door to go eat. By the time I got home, Adam and I had finished a bucket of beers and a bottle of wine respectively and I was feeling pretty damn awesome.
As I try to recall the night, I can say that I remember putting Vanessa to bed and slipping her tooth under her pillow. The next thing I remember was waking up at nearly 4am in a total state of panic because I hadn’t done the fairy thing!! OK – now let me just say that I set a precedent with my older daughter in that the fairy just doesn’t come and get the tooth and drop off some money – she does an entire fairy deal. Notes, glitter, confetti. It's a full on pixie party. I actually wish I never did this because this particular evening I was too drunk to write a note, I had no idea where the glitter was and I knew we didn't have any confetti in the house. But I didn’t want to fail in my role – so I went into the kitchen and bleary-eyed, I wrote the fewest words I could - “Good job.” It took me nearly five minutes to write that "sentence" and it looked like the handwriting of a small child or serial killer. I then rummaged around in the kitchen trying to find the glitter. Dammit. I couldn’t find it and I couldn't bear the thought of looking around the house in closets, drawers and craft boxes. I tried to think of what I could use in place of glitter. I contemplated sprinkles but remembered the dog. Ha! See! I was more mentally sharp than I thought!! Or maybe not...I couldn't think of a thing that had glitter in it or that I could pull off as sparkly dust. I went into he bathroom hoping to find body cream with glitter. As I rummaged through my beauty box (as I call it - which is pretty much a box with a ton of make-up I don't wear but save in case I need it), I thought about rubbing together one of the kid's shirts that had glitter on it. But as luck would have it, just before I started tearing through their clothes drawers, I found clear nail polish with glitter in it. Yes! I’ll use that! How perfect!!
I put the note, the satin blue tooth pouch, $1.00 in change (it was all I could find in my wallet) on Vanessa’s white desk chair. I ripped up a few pieces of colored Post-Its and threw them around the pouch. Since the chair is white and lacquer – or something shiny – I thought I could just paint the clear nail polish with colored glitter on the chair in swirly patterns, and could just clean it up the next day with a little nail polish remover.
The next morning I woke up to Vanessa squealing about the Tooth Fairy. Adam and I walked into her room. Vanessa left the room to show her sister her dollar. Adam looked at the chair and then to me. Without his glasses on - or maybe just to be dramatic - he leaned over really close to the chair to examine the artwork. "What is that?" He asked, totally perturbed. I told him it was nail polish. Duh! I told him I'd remove it later. "Yea right. Good luck with that." he said and left the room. I couldn't say I didn't agree with his sentiment - I may not have made the best choice here. And much to my dismay, hours later, nothing worked to remove it. Three weeks later, the excitement of the lost tooth is over, the dollar is gone but the evidence of the drunken Tooth Fairy is still there. You can only imagine what happens with Santa and the Easter Bunny.
As I try to recall the night, I can say that I remember putting Vanessa to bed and slipping her tooth under her pillow. The next thing I remember was waking up at nearly 4am in a total state of panic because I hadn’t done the fairy thing!! OK – now let me just say that I set a precedent with my older daughter in that the fairy just doesn’t come and get the tooth and drop off some money – she does an entire fairy deal. Notes, glitter, confetti. It's a full on pixie party. I actually wish I never did this because this particular evening I was too drunk to write a note, I had no idea where the glitter was and I knew we didn't have any confetti in the house. But I didn’t want to fail in my role – so I went into the kitchen and bleary-eyed, I wrote the fewest words I could - “Good job.” It took me nearly five minutes to write that "sentence" and it looked like the handwriting of a small child or serial killer. I then rummaged around in the kitchen trying to find the glitter. Dammit. I couldn’t find it and I couldn't bear the thought of looking around the house in closets, drawers and craft boxes. I tried to think of what I could use in place of glitter. I contemplated sprinkles but remembered the dog. Ha! See! I was more mentally sharp than I thought!! Or maybe not...I couldn't think of a thing that had glitter in it or that I could pull off as sparkly dust. I went into he bathroom hoping to find body cream with glitter. As I rummaged through my beauty box (as I call it - which is pretty much a box with a ton of make-up I don't wear but save in case I need it), I thought about rubbing together one of the kid's shirts that had glitter on it. But as luck would have it, just before I started tearing through their clothes drawers, I found clear nail polish with glitter in it. Yes! I’ll use that! How perfect!!
I put the note, the satin blue tooth pouch, $1.00 in change (it was all I could find in my wallet) on Vanessa’s white desk chair. I ripped up a few pieces of colored Post-Its and threw them around the pouch. Since the chair is white and lacquer – or something shiny – I thought I could just paint the clear nail polish with colored glitter on the chair in swirly patterns, and could just clean it up the next day with a little nail polish remover.
The next morning I woke up to Vanessa squealing about the Tooth Fairy. Adam and I walked into her room. Vanessa left the room to show her sister her dollar. Adam looked at the chair and then to me. Without his glasses on - or maybe just to be dramatic - he leaned over really close to the chair to examine the artwork. "What is that?" He asked, totally perturbed. I told him it was nail polish. Duh! I told him I'd remove it later. "Yea right. Good luck with that." he said and left the room. I couldn't say I didn't agree with his sentiment - I may not have made the best choice here. And much to my dismay, hours later, nothing worked to remove it. Three weeks later, the excitement of the lost tooth is over, the dollar is gone but the evidence of the drunken Tooth Fairy is still there. You can only imagine what happens with Santa and the Easter Bunny.
