Adam has literally created a list of places in our town that we are no longer aloud to frequent for a variety of reasons. Whether it is Dunkin' Donuts (or as Adam says "Dunkin' Do-not") because the people there always rush Adam to order, or the bagel place because they delivered the wrong drinks and then blamed it on us placing the wrong drink order, or the local pharmacy because the lines are too long, or the pizza place because it charges too much PLUS adds a dollar delivery fee - you cross Adam once and you are on the "never again list".
The latest offender is the local grocery store. Adam has always maintained that they were over-priced, under staffed and their produce sucked. He would tell anyone in town his opinion of the store and as he did, he face would literally change. It would get all contorted and angry and I was certain one day, his eyebrows were just going to fly off the top of his head by how much he raised them while bugging out his eyes. Now hearing that, and knowing we aren’t even in the store and he is pissed off, imagine what went down when we were actually there. Ugh!
So...we needed a few last minute items for a party and while Adam hated it, this grocery place was the most convenient. I convinced Adam that this would be the last time we went into the store. And while I offered to run in alone, Adam, going against my request, decided to come into the store with me.
He stomped down every aisle, remarking how expensive and dirty things were and manhandling the fruit and vegetables with a vengeance. I really tried my best to separate myself from him (this really was embarrassing). But as we needed to check out, I had to make my way back next to him.
Typical us, even though we came into the store only needing a few things - our cart was full as we pulled up to the register. I thought Adam's head was going to blow up when he saw me strolling over to the checkout with my packed carriage. As the lady was ringing things through and putting them into their bags, Adam huffed over every scan. Finally, when all was done and our club member discount was applied, the cashier read us our total. And Adam fucking flipped out.
He started screaming that the place was a rip off and we weren’t going to take any of our bags. He yelled this while picking up two yellow plastic bags in each hand and holding them over his head like a demented King Kong. He then threw the two bags back into the carriage, and spun around on his heel and went to storm off.
And like a scene out of a movie with Kevin James and Adam Sandler, he went over to the giant cage of bouncey-balls and kicked it and the Entire. Fucking. Thing. Fell. Over.
Balls of every colors and size were bouncing around him. He looked like he was being attacked by a lot of plastic orbs. I guess in an effort to protect himself - or to let go of some more anger – he started kicking balls that were in the way and so now they were hitting into the window and bouncing off other cash registers. Everyone in the place was still. Horrified. (Or scared of getting a ball to the face. Ouch!)
Adam walked out the automatic door with a swoosh. The girls and I were still standing in the checkout aisle. Frozen. Mouths agape. I didn’t want to look at anyone.
Ella yelled “Dad...??!!!”
I looked at her like “why are you admitting that he is your father?” and then I turned to the cashier to apologize.
As I started to leave, Ella and Vanessa scrambled around behind me trying to pick up the balls that were now lightly bouncing to a stop.
I slid into the car next to Adam after I loaded the trunk. He didn’t say a word as we pulled out of the parking lot and drove right past a giant red bouncy ball that had made its way out of the store.