One year I was a chaperon for my daughter's school trip to the Liberty Science Center. This wasn't the best fit for me, considering I don't know much about science at all. Or Math, or History or, come to think of it - how the hell did I graduate?! Well whatever...of course I had to have a kid in my group that asked a hundred questions about each exhibit. I got by most of the day by reading the plaques that told the purpose of each display but when there was one station - the sedimentary table (or something) which didn't have a plaque - I made something up when he asked me a question. I mean, how hard this could be? It looked like a wooden table with a bunch of rocks, sand and some water. Well or course whatever I said was incorrect and the little shit just had to call me out on it - he was like "Mrs. M, that's not right" and he proceeded to tell me and the kids in our group the correct thing. At that point he had gotten on my nerves; I cut him off mid-sentence and said briskly "Ok so maybe what I said wasn't right, but I'm not here to answer questions, I'm here to make sure you don't get kidnapped or die on this trip". I should have known this would freak out a kid like this and I honestly didn't mean to scare him but I couldn't handle anymore questions!! Feeling bad I told him to stick with me to head to what I proclaimed was the next exhibit - the gift shop!! And I told him I would welcome any question about shopping - and he could bet his ass I'd be right this time.
Collection of comic strips that illustrate the madness of my life - career, marriage, motherhood...me!
Click on any of the categories above or the "previous" link at the end of the page to see some moments that have stripped me of my sanity.