Our town gets a lot of snow sometimes. It’s great for the kids when they want a snow day but for me and Adam, it’s annoying because they are all over us all day and we can never get any thing done at home for work. But this one snowy day, I too woke up excited to see everything blanketed in freshly fallen flakes. Now, I hate the cold. HATE it. I won’t stand in front of a freezer for too long. But again, something about today – I wanted to go outside and play in the snow. Actually – let me say that we are such a big, lazy family – our idea of playing is the snow is lying there and eating it. Sooo….that’s what we wanted to do. Adam, the girls and me all bundled up and went outside. Feeling like a stuffed sausage in ill-fitting snow pants, I didn’t last long out there. I walked back into the house while everyone else stayed out to play. I thought I would do something Martha Stewart—y and microwave up some hot chocolate for when everyone was ready to come back in. (Ok , so sure Martha probably doesn't have a microwave. But my kids don’t know fresh made hot chocolate versus anything else, so its all the same to them and super easy for me. Perfect for all!) The phone started ringing as I seriously struggled to get out of my snow boots and clothes (I really fucking hate winter. It was such a chore to get dressed…and now to strip down. Ugggghhhh!) I grabbed it just in time. It was the school. They were asking me why the kids weren’t there today. I didn’t say anything as I looked out the window and watched my family rolling around in puffy winter gear on the snow covered front lawn and licking the snowy ground like they were dropped inside a giant tub of ice cream. The voice on the other line again said “hello”? I didn’t know if I wanted to say that we thought it was a snow day so we never sent them in to school. I would look like an idiot. I told her they were both sick and apologized for not calling. Considering we have neighbors that all have kids in the schools in town, we must have looked like a bunch of degenerates out there while those kids were heading off for their normal, state-mandated routine. As I hung up the phone, I realized that now I had to get the kids to lie to make sure they said they were “sick”. This would set Ella over the edge – she’s such a goody-goody; and this would further propel Vanessa as a my little risk –taker. Oh God. Looks like Mommy’s putting some Bailey’s in her hot chocolate.
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Collection of comic strips that illustrate the madness of my life - career, marriage, motherhood...me!
Click on any of the categories above or the "previous" link at the end of the page to see some moments that have stripped me of my sanity.