Him: Hi, I am here to clean your chimney.
Me: Hi, we don’t have a chimney (while thinking mental thoughts of that chimney sweep guy in Mary Poppins. This man doesn’t have one of those flattened broom things…hmmmm.)
Him: (He checks his papers on his clipboard). It says here that someone named Adam requested this service
Me: That’s my husband. Ok, well you can follow me (we walk over to the living room).
Me: This is all we have. (I gesture grandly to the wall unit).
Him: Ma’am – that is a decorative mantle. (Pause) You have candles in it. (Pause) It's not even a real fireplace.
Me: I know. I told you – we don’t have a chimney.
Him: Ma’am, you don't need a fireplace for a chimney. Do you have a basement where your other large appliances are.
Him: Look of pity and amazement.
Me: Um, yes. I can take you there but I really don’t think there is a chimney down there.
Him: Let’s just have a look.
Me: Ok. (We get to the area that makes a lot of clanking noise and has large tin-like units. I am pretty sure one is a boiler, I have no idea what the other one is. Water heater maybe)?
Him: See here it is.
Me: Yea, ok. I’ll take your word for it.
Him: Yea. That might be a good idea.