Adam and I took advantage of his work travels when I met him at a hotel in DC hotel on a rainy Friday afternoon. With both of us already having seen the city, the crappy weather, and not having the kids with us, we decided to stay in for the night to raid the minibar, get room service and watch a little porn. We were married just long enough that that order of events was acceptable – get drunk and full first. After eating steaks and sweets and drinking a full bottle of red wine while wearing the hotel provided robes, we flipped through the X-rated movie menu. Remember this is a time that was years before iPhone and iPads, where dirty movies – and a ton of other stuff - are now more privately available any time of day. On our mission circa 2001, we made our selection and we both got ready to get it goin’ on. Before the non-plot could thicken and before anyone even got naked on screen, the movie cut off. We found the remote to put it back on again. Same thing happened. Being a $20 movie, we debated only for a moment about calling the front desk to get someone from IT to help us. Believing that they never put the movie titles on the bill – isn’t that what they tell you! - we figured we wouldn’t have to say what movie we were watching when the screen went black. But they did know. There was an evident awkward pause from my end of the phone, when I heard the woman at the front desk say that she wanted to confirm it was “Robin Head” that was giving us trouble. OMG. This whole situation was trouble! She said she’d send someone up to check my box. God – this was just getting more worse and awkward with the unintended sexual puns and random people coming into our room to make sure we had access to dirty movies. When the IT guy finally got to our room, I was surprised when Adam ran into the bathroom like a girl with the fluffy cotton robe flying behind him. What the hell?! He is just leaving me standing here to look like a lady of the night? The IT guy knowingly smiled at me when I opened the door. I tied my robe a little tighter just for effect; it kind of felt like this could be the start to our very own porno with a threesome storyline. But nothing sexual here. The IT guy and I talked about the city while he fixed the problem and Adam remained in the bathroom (eyeroll!). When the guy finally left, Adam emerged and undeterred we ordered the movie again. Yes!! It was playing through the cut-off point from before. It was only after mutual goals were achieved that Adam unabashedly brought up that we waited almost 40-minutes to fix the problem for just 5-minutes of video that brought about the reward. Good thing it’s a 24-hour movie rental…maybe we’ll see 7-minutes next time.
Collection of comic strips that illustrate the madness of my life - career, marriage, motherhood...me!
Click on any of the categories above or the "previous" link at the end of the page to see some moments that have stripped me of my sanity.